How to Help Your Toddler Express Their Feelings

Did you know that emotions make us healthy? In fact, the way in which you react to your childās expression of emotion will contribute greatly to his healthāand happinessāfor the rest of his life.
Bottled-up feelings can lead to a profound sense of loneliness (āNo one understandsā/āNo one caresā) or even bursts of hysteria (think drama queen or someone needing anger-management classes). Kids whose words of fear and frustration are repeatedly silenced may grow up emotionally disconnected (like the guy who snarls āIām NOT angry!ā, totally unaware that the veins are popping out of his forehead).
On the other hand, when we āhave a good cryā we feel and think better. Venting anger with a good scream or punching a pillow can lower our blood pressure and help us recover, forgive, and move on. Laughter and tears have even been shown to strengthen the immune system and help heal illness.
Children whose feelings are lovingly acknowledged during the toddler years grow up emotionally intact. They know how to ask their friends for help and how to support others in need. They seek out healthy relationships, avoiding bullies and choosing confidantes and life partners who are thoughtful and kind.
How to Help Your Toddler Express FeelingsĀ
Young toddlers (12ā24 months)
Model for your child how to ventĀ their feelings. For example, whenĀ they're mad stomp your feet, clap your hands, and shake your head vigorously, and teachĀ them to say āNo!ā (āEvelyn says, āNo, no, no! Mine, mine! Stop now!āā)Ā
Older toddlers (2ā4 years old )
When things are calm, have your tot practice different faces: āShow me your happy faceā¦your sad faceā¦your mad face.ā Point out pictures in books and say āLook at that sad baby. How do you look when youāre sad?ā Cut out magazine pictures of people showing emotions and put them on cardboard cards or in a little āfeelings book.ā Demonstrate your facial expressions soĀ they can see what you mean: āWhen I get mad my eyes get small and my mouth gets tight like this [make face].āĀ
Teach your child the words to use whenĀ they're upset. Use pictures in the āfeelings bookā as a starting point. Ask, āHow does that boy feel? Why is that girl sad?ā Enrich your childās vocabulary by using different words. For example, for āmadā you might also use: angry, furious, miffed, boiling, red-hot, etc.
Amazingly, the more you practice these simple steps, the sooner your child will start to gain control ofĀ their emotional outbursts.
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