How to Shop With a Toddler (Without Losing Your Mind)
Grocery shopping with a toddler in tow? That’s not a task—it’s a high-stakes expedition. Between the bright lights, endless temptations (hello, cookie aisle), and a tot’s love of running wild, it’s no wonder store trips often end in tears—yours and theirs.
The good news? With the right tools and a little know-how, errands with your toddler don’t have to be a total disaster. In fact, they can even be...fun. Here’s your guide to turning shopping chaos into a cooperative adventure.
Prep your toddler with a heads-up.
Before you even leave the house, let your child know what to expect. Toddlers thrive on routines and hate surprises. Give them a simple preview: “We’re going to the store to get apples and cereal. It’ll be quick, then we’ll head to the park!”
Use the Fast-Food Rule.
When your toddler starts whining about wanting cookies before you’ve even hit the produce section, reflect their feelings first. This is Dr. Harvey Karp’s Fast-Food Rule: You repeat their feelings back before making your point. “You want cookies! You LOVE cookies! But first we get veggies, then cookies when we get home.”
Speak Toddler-ese.
High emotions? Use short phrases, repetition, and matching tone—what Dr. Karp calls Toddler-ese. “You want it! You want it NOW!” This makes toddlers feel seen and heard, calming them so they’re more open to your guidance.
Give them a job.
Toddlers love to feel important! Ask them to help you “find the red apples” or “carry the cereal.” Offering them a role turns passive passengers into eager participants.
Set clear expectations with “when...then” statements.
Instead of threats or vague bribes, use “when…then” phrasing: “When we finish shopping, then we’ll listen to your favorite song in the car!” This gives your toddler something to look forward to—and a clear roadmap for how to get there.
Keep it short and sweet.
A marathon Costco run isn’t toddler-friendly. If possible, keep trips brief. Better yet, shop during your child’s best time of day (usually mornings, after breakfast and before nap).
Bring snacks.
No one shops well on an empty stomach—especially toddlers. A small, healthy snack like apple slices or cereal puffs can prevent hunger-fueled meltdowns.
Praise the good stuff.
Catch your kid being good! “You’re staying close to the cart—great listening!” Praise builds cooperation and confidence. Better yet, make your praise time times more effective by gossiping. Deliver your kind words in the form of whispered gossip. Call up Grandma, talk to their stuffy, comment to the cashier. (“Wow! Sofia was so patient while we went shopping today!”) Read more on toddler praise!
Know when to call it.
Some days, it just won’t work—and that’s okay. If your tot is tired, hungry, or spiraling into full-on meltdown mode, it’s okay to abandon ship and try again later.
Consider curbside pickup.
Many stores offer free, order-ahead pickup! If that’s an option at your local supermarket, take advantage. As a bonus: It’s also a way to avoid filling your cart with off-list items!