19 Unofficial Baby Milestones for New Parents
We all know about the regular baby milestones to look out for, like Baby taking those first steps and saying their first words. But truth be told, there are a lot of baby milestones out there that don’t get any play in parenting books. These are the unofficial baby milestones: Some are sweet and sentimental, others are funny, and some are downright disgusting. But it really wouldn’t be parenting without them! Here are 19 baby milestones you might not have been expecting!
The Pee-on-the-Parents Baby Milestone
It’ll be a surprise. It’ll be gross. You’ll probably LOL (especially if you're not the victim). And you can bet, it’ll happen again!
The Shopping-Buddy Baby Milestone
The day you get to do your Target run with your wee partner in crime sitting in the cart, smiling at you…well, that’s better than anything you’d find in their (admittedly amazing) Dollar Spot.
The Diaper-Blowout Baby Milestone
And you thought the pee was gross. Wait till Baby’s projectile poop shoots straight out of their diaper and up their back, leaving you both stinky and dazed. And, life being the way it is, this milestone will likely strike when you’re in line at the grocery store. Good news: Next time you’ll be totally prepared.
The Unsolicited and Unwanted Advice Baby Milestone
You might be minding your own business, pushing your stroller or (finally!) enjoying a coffee at your fave spot with Baby in tow. Perhaps you’ll be anxiously trying to calm your crying bub in a parking lot. Wherever you are, you certainly won’t need to hear one bit of the out-of-nowhere parenting advice a perfect stranger will offer you. (Brief seething and ignoring is encouraged.)
The Squeeze-Back Baby Milestone
You’ve been kissing and hugging your precious tot from minute one and, oh boy, when your baby hugs you back for the first time... Sweetest. Moment. Ever.
The Pukes-on-a-Visitor Baby Milestone
The day you forget the burp cloth is the day your little nugget spits up all over your mom, your friend, your boss…anyone who has sweetly asked to hold your baby.
The Flippin’-You-The-Bird Baby Milestone
Surprise! Babies often (accidentally?) give you the finger. We're sure they don't mean it. But definitely snap a pic of one of our favorite funny baby moments!
The Babysitter Baby Milestone
Woo-hoo! It’s date night! And there’s someone watching the baby who’s not you. Deep breaths…this will be fun. Promise!
The Poops-in-the-Tub Baby Milestone
You know it will happen…you just don’t know when. And, honestly, you’re never really prepared. (Perhaps this is why sponge baths were invented.)
The Food-Fight Baby Milestone
One day, you’re spoon-feeding your baby, watching them yum or yuck all the new flavors they're experiencing. The next day, your baby swipes that spoon, tosses it on the floor. It makes a big noise, food splatters everywhere, Baby is delighted! Welcome to your new mealtime ritual.
The What’s-In-Your-Mouth?! Baby Milestone
As soon as babies are on the move, all sorts of gross floor-findings wind up in their mouths. Fur balls, dog food…the plunger! (Note to self: Babyproof, ASAP.)
The Wee Greeter Baby Milestone
Now that you’ve got a baby as a sidekick, you’re used to people smiling and waving at your little one. Then—bam!—one day, your baby enthusiastically returns all those smiles with a joyous Baby wave! Heart melting.
The Road Trip Baby Milestone
Short trips to the grocery store or that 30-minute drive to Grandma’s: You’ve got those rides down pat. But the day you load your baby (the bottles, the diapers, even SNOO) into the car for an honest-to-goodness rest-stops-and-all road trip, you’ve leveled up!
The Photo Fail Baby Milestone
Whether it’s the baby-in-a-pumpkin setup or a seemingly simple family picture, things will go wrong. Not always. But enough. There will be tears, or spit up, or poop, or pee. In the end, though, you’ll love those photo "fails," too. Seriously.
The Smiles-for-a-Picture Baby Milestone
All the photo fails are worth finally snapping a picture of your bub flashing a big, gummy smile. It’s just Too Much Cuteness.
The DJ Baby Milestone
As the parent, you’re in charge of the music. That’s one of the perks. Then, suddenly, your little one shows you—through squeals, shoulder shimmies, and claps—which song is the Best Song. And, well, now Baby’s the DJ.
The Boo-Boo Baby Milestone
With their newly-acquired walking skills, Baby is bound to have some accidents. The first one, no matter how minor, will startle you. What’ll also startle you? How quickly little ones bounce right back and try again!
The Tantrum Baby Milestone
It may be sooner, it may be later, but often when tots reach about 18 months, the tantrums roll in. Brace yourself…not necessarily for the meltdown, but for the reason behind the meltdown. You peeled the banana wrong! The water is wet! The sippy cup is blue! (You know what helps? Learning Toddler-ease.)
The Accidental-Curse Baby Milestone
Toddlers mispronounce words. That’s totally normal. And when they mispronounce as an expletive, well, that’s just golden. (You’ll never look at a truck or a duck the same.) Warning: Once you laugh at these types of funny baby milestones, they'll happen again and again!
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