How to Teach Body Safety to Little Kids

Talking about body safety to prevent sexual abuse can feel heavy—especially when your child is still learning to put on their own shoes. But teaching body safety doesn’t require one big, scary “talk.” It’s built through many small, calm conversations that teach kids body autonomy (their body belongs to them), boundaries, and how to get help.

Below are practical, age-appropriate ways to teach body safety to toddlers and preschoolers with a focus on skills that can help reduce vulnerability to sexual abuse—without introducing fear.

Why teach body safety?

Parents need to teach body safety in the same way they teach kids to look both ways before crossing the street: Not to scare them, and not because they’re in imminent danger at every crosswalk, but to arm them with skills that can help keep them safe and prevent dangerous situations. Child sexual abuse is, unfortunately, more common than many people realize. The CDC notes that research estimates at least 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 20 boys in the U.S. experience child sexual abuse—and that these numbers likely underestimate the true impact because many children never report.

Just as importantly, the CDC reports that about 90% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the child or family knows and trusts—which is why teaching boundaries, correct body-part names, and “tell a trusted grown-up” skills is so protective (and why it can be taught in a calm, everyday way).

What is “body safety”?

For young kids, body safety means they learn:

• The correct names for body parts (including private parts).
• Which parts are private, and that private parts shouldn’t be touched or looked at without permission (with limited, specific exceptions like caregiving/medical care).
• They can say “no” to unwanted touch—even from familiar adults.
• Safe secrets vs. unsafe secrets (surprises are okay; secrets about bodies are not).
• Who their trusted grown-ups are, and that it’s always safe to tell.
• Research on prevention education shows that children can learn protective skills and knowledge through age-appropriate teaching, without increasing fear or anxiety.

Body-Safety Habits to Build

Use real names for body parts.

It can feel awkward at first, but correct terms (think: penis, vulva) help kids communicate clearly—and can reduce secrecy and shame.

Try it: Use the correct names in a during bath time or diapering like it’s no big deal—because it isn’t.

Simply explain “private parts.”

The AAP recommends teaching that private parts include areas covered by a swimsuit—and also the mouth.

Try it: “Private parts are private. No one should touch or look at your private parts without permission.”

Don’t force affection.

Kids should never feel obligated to hug, kiss, or sit on someone’s lap! Don’t force or guilt children into affection—even with relatives.

Try this instead: “Do you want to hug, high-five, or wave goodbye?”

Explain okay vs. not-okay touch in kid-friendly language.

Explain that many touches are okay (a parent or teacher helping with toileting, bathing, doctor checks with a caregiver present), while “not-okay” touches are ones that hurt, feel confusing/scary, or involve private parts.

Try it: “No one touches your private parts except to keep you clean/healthy—and a trusted grown-up should be with you.”

Practice the “NO—GO—TELL” skill.

Kids don’t just need information—they need to know what they should say and do if they encounter touch that’s not okay. Prevention programs often build skills through practice and rehearsal.

Practice phrases:

• “No!” (or “Stop!”)
• “I’m going to my grown-up!”
• “I’m telling!”

Talk about secrets vs. surprises.

Teach that some secrets (like a surprise party or a birthday gift) are okay, but other secrets should always be shared with a trusted adult. “Surprises make people happy. Secrets about bodies or touching are never okay.”

Name three to five “trusted grown-ups” (not just parents).

Abuse is often committed by someone a child knows, and kids may tell another adult first. That’s why it helps to identify multiple safe adults ahead of time. Make a short list together: “If you need help, you can tell: Mom/Dad, Grandma, Ms. Taylor, Aunt Sam…”

Repeat mini-conversations regularly.

Revisit body safety regularly—during bath time, bedtime, doctor visits, and before new situations so that the lessons sink in. Little and often beats one intense talk—for everyone involved!

Try it:

• “Your body is yours. If you don’t want tickles, you can say ‘Stop.’”
• “If anyone does something with your body you don’t like, you can tell me. You will not be in trouble.”

Create safer environments.

Body safety isn’t only on kids—adults prevent harm by building safe systems. Public health guidance emphasizes safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments as prevention.

For example, ask about supervision policies at childcare, classes, and camps. Opt for settings with clear rules, visible spaces, and trained staff. And don’t be afraid to ask questions—or to pull out if something doesn’t seem safe.

What to Do If Your Child Tells You Something Concerning

The most important thing is your first response: Stay calm, be supportive, and take action:

• Stay calm and listen.
• Believe and praise your child for telling.
• Reassure them it’s not their fault.
• Protect them from further contact and report to local authorities; if you’re unsure who to call, the Childhelp hotline can guide you.
• Seek medical and mental health support when appropriate (many communities have Children’s Advocacy Centers that coordinate care).

If you have concerns, you can also start by talking with your child’s pediatrician.

The Takeaway About Teaching Body Safety

You’re not trying to turn your preschooler into a tiny security guard. You’re simply teaching three lifelong messages:

• My body belongs to me.
• I can say no to unwanted touch.
• I can always tell a trusted grown-up.

And you can teach all of that in a warm, everyday way—starting now.

More on Talking to Little Kids:

Things to Say Instead of “Be Careful”

Compliments That Build Resilience in Kids

Conversation-Starters to Get Your Tot Talking

How to Teach Your Child to Stand Up for What’s Right

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Disclaimer: The information on our site is NOT medical advice for any specific person or condition. It is only meant as general information. If you have any medical questions and concerns about your child or yourself, please contact your health provider.