Does maternal anxiety cause colic?

Any mother who felt fear and anxiety around the birth of her new baby, might wonder if these disquieting feelings could affect her tender new baby. Many new mothers confide in me that they feel overwhelmed because:

• Caring for their baby is unexpectedly stressful. No matter how much you thought that you were prepared for your new baby, it still may have hit you like a ton of bricks. Women often feel overweight, frumpy, exhausted, in pain and go through roller coaster hormonal swings. (And, men often feel overworked, unappreciated, financially stressed, sexually deprived, and left out.)

• They have little baby experience. Most of us have had very few opportunities to care for small babies. That’s why our generation may well be the least experienced…in history! And, as inept as we feel when we can’t calm our baby’s screams in the privacy of our own home, we feel even more inadequate when our infant screams in public.

• They feel like everybody is criticizing them. New parents are very open to everyone’s advice and criticisms. “Pick her up!” “Don’t pick her up!” “Feed on demand!” “Feed on a schedule!” It’s easy to feel intimidated to begin with and getting peppered by all these contradictory comments can further whittle down your confidence and magnify your self-doubts.

• The responsibility falls predominantly upon their shoulders. Mothers feel a lot of pressure to know what they’re doing because they are the ones who are supposed to be able to soothe their baby when no one else can. Dads can be very helpful, but we can hand our kids right back to “Mom” when our calming attempts fall flat. Yet, the truth is that these days, new mothers don’t have much more baby experience than their husbands do.

A New Mom’s Feelings Of Inadequacy – Anxiety’s constant companion

Mothering a baby is a magnificent experience but it’s neither a snap nor instinctive. Unless you’ve spent lots of time baby sitting or helping with younger siblings, don’t be surprised if your new baby makes you feel you need 6 arms…like a Hindu deity. For most women, mothering their baby is the toughest job they’ve ever had!

After talking to thousands of new mothers, I’ve made an “Aye, Aye, Aye” list of the top 10 stresses that can undermine a new mom’s self-confidence – and make even a goddess start to crumble:

1) Intense fatigue

2) Inexperience

3) Isolation from loving family and friends

4) Insufficient isolation from intrusive family and friends

5) Inconsolable crying (the baby’s, that is)

6) Itsy-bitsy blow-ups with your spouse

7) Instant loss of job income and gratification

8) Insecurity about your body

9) Indelible barf stains on every piece of clothing you own

10) Instability of your hormones

Fortunately, the pressures you feel today will soon melt into a warm love that will be more powerful and profound than any other you have ever felt. In the mean time, please be tolerant of yourself, your husband and, especially, your baby.

A Mom’s Anxiety “Ain’t” The Answer

It’s common for the mothers of irritable babies to feel jealous and self-critical when they see other moms with easy to calm infants. Those feelings can become a dark cloud casting a shadow over a woman’s confidence and making her wonder if her anxiety is the cause of her baby’s crying.

Fortunately, during the first few months of life babies aren’t able to tell when their mothers are distressed and worried. Remember, babies are just babies! They’re are not born with the ability to read their mother’s feelings as if they were messages written on her forehead in lipstick. These little prehistoric creatures even have trouble…burping. So, don’t worry about your baby sensing your anxiety.