Any mom who has felt fear and anxiety surrounding the birth of her new baby might wonder if these emotions could affect her baby. That was Trina’s big concern as a new mom.
With her ruby lips and lush, black hair, Tatiana was exquisite. But her delicate form was balanced by a strong temperament. She inherited a passionate personality from her parents, which thrilled Trina and her husband, Mirko. But as the weeks went by, they wilted as Tatiana’s feistiness turned into shriek-a-thons.
Trina called her doctor after one particularly bad afternoon. She confided, “I’m a very sensitive and intuitive person. Is it possible that Tatiana is, too? I know she’s only four weeks old, but could she be picking up on all the stress that I’m feeling?”
Trina said that after the baby’s birth she’d had terrible pain from her C-section and just days later her apartment flooded, destroying most of the family’s possessions.
“The nest we created for our baby collapsed like a house of cards, and we had to move to our friends living room. When Tatiana developed colic at 3 weeks, I thought her screams might be from all the anxiety she felt from me.”
The birth of a healthy infant is a glorious experience, but it’s a rare mom or dad who doesn’t have episodes of anxiety and self-doubt. Persistent fussing can cast a shadow over your confidence and make you wonder if your fear or frustration is causing at least some of the crying. But babies are just babies! It may feel like your feelings are written on your forehead in lipstick (Sad! Mad! Nervous!), but your baby is just too immature to read your complex emotions.
While your baby won’t sense your anxiety, your crying baby does, of course, depend on you. If you are having challenges calming your baby, there are a few things to consider. But don’t blame yourself, just admit that you need help and be sure to get it!):
• Anxiety can reduce breast-milk supply or block letdown. A hungry baby will cry if he’s not getting enough milk.
• Keep in mind that sometimes the 5 S’s need to be done with “vigor” (swaddle, shush, and swing the baby as emphatically as needed to calm the screaming). This is why dads are so great at soothing babies. Make him the calmer-in-chief of your household and get some tips from him.
• Nervous moms impatiently jump from one calming method to another, never doing any of them fully enough to calm the crying. Taking a baby education class will boost your skills and confidence.
Note: Your newborn’s hand trembling, chin quivering and startling at loud noises are not signs of nervousness. These are caused by your baby’s immature nervous system and disappear within a few months.
Parents need and deserve help! SNOO smart sleeper is like another member of the family (or a virtual night nurse) to lend a hand. SNOO calms most babies within seconds and helps soothes them to sleep with womblike sound and motion. As a result, babies sleep better and longer...and so do their parents. Learn more.