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  • Once you and the love of your life have kids, your relationship changes. Like so many things about parenting, you may have heard people say that, but you didn’t really understand what they meant until you find yourself in the thick of it.

    Having a brand new bouncing baby in the house is so demanding and time-consuming. Every couple is different of course, but it's easy to feel like you're giving 110% effort (usually true) and your partner is only chipping in 70% (usually false).

    There is so much to do in caring for an infant while also chugging along with your other responsibilities. Sure, the best way to get it all done is to work as a team, but while true, all work and no play makes for…well, you’ve heard the saying.

    If this is how you’re feeling, what can you do about it?

    It can help to start by taking a few minutes to think about what you personally need or want…then flip it. Would any of those things bring a smile to your baby mama or baby daddy’s face?  If you’re seeking more support or adoration, good chances your partner is too. And with all the craziness of having a baby, simple pleasures can be priceless. Take walks, give each other a mini-massage, a back scratch or gentle intimacy. Even cutting each other some extra slack or giving him/her the benefit of the doubt can make your main squeeze have a better day.

    And, if you’re a single parent. That’s a whole other topic, but making time for yourself is key!

    You can also try thinking about it from your baby's perspective. In fact, if your infant could, she'd sit you down and say, "Don't worry about me. I'm fine staying with grandma or the babysitter. But I'm really gonna need you two later on. So, go have some fun, see a movie, but please take care of yourselves!"

    The first months are the hardest part of the first year, but the great news is, life is in the moments. Your baby will give you so many magical moments it will be hard to process the joy you feel. And keep in mind, a little bit of TLC goes a long way toward making the two of you…come together as one.

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